Oprah, hurry the F up.

I won’t be blogging during the holiday because I am taking a break, like people should do over a holiday. I’m only going to eat a lot. And read a lot. And sit around a lot. Because I never do. And because I’ve spent lots of time in the last few weeks doing this:


And this:



That’s eating every meal at a desk in an ad agency. Some ad agencies really think you have nothing to do with your life besides come up with ways to make people buy things they don't need. They schedule you to work every weekend and every night if you don’t stop them. I haven’t been stopping them. And that’s because I’m a whore for a paycheck.

And also because I’m biding time before Oprah discovers this blog and decides to offer me my own show and magazine with a picture of me eating a sandwich on the cover of every issue. That’s going to happen, so I’m just waiting at the advertising agency until then. And I'm also celebrating America's great holiday. I’m off to go eat a lot, do nothing, eat more, do more of nothing, and then have pie.

Smell ya on the flipside. aka December 1st! WHAT? December already? Yes, already.

Happy Day of Thanks & Giving