Listen, Caffeine, you're rude.

I haven't been able to stay awake past 11 in a week due to the fact that I, very reluctantly, decided to forgo my daily coffee.
I noticed that all my friends who don't indulge in a morning espresso are always up for going running at midnight or playing a spontaneous game of croquet at some ungodly hour. I want to have that energy, so I quit cold turkey.
It's SO FUCKING HARD. I fell asleep twice just writing the above sentences. I haven't been able to think of anything brilliant at work, haven't been able to catch John Stewart, and my roommate found me sleeping naked on the toilet. I guess it's withdrawl. But it feels like narcolepsy. And it's all Caffeine's fault. How could it do me this way?
And Society! It's his fault too. Why is it perfectly normal for an entire world to need a morning drink to function? We're all caffeiholics and we've got enablers on every damn corner. I hope you're happy Starbucks.
I'm giving Energy 3 weeks to come and get me and take me to a late-night party. If he doesn't show, I'm back on the macchiato train.